People pleaser

I carry a lofty weight upon my shoulders. The weight of making everyone in my life happy.  Hi, my name is Allison, and I am a people pleaser.

There is nothing wrong with making people feel accepted, included and loved, but if we stretch ourselves too thin in the process, we are actually doing more harm than good. The inability to enjoy the moment because we are too busy thinking about all of the things we could be doing for others is unhealthy and downright exhausting.

What if in our efforts to please someone, we find that we have drained every ounce of our being?   Maybe it's time that we take a look at the driving force behind the pleasing. 

For am I now seeking

the approval of man or of God?

Or am I trying to please man?

If I were still trying to please man,

I would not be a servant of Christ. 
Galatians 1:10

There is not a verse to be found where the Lord commands us to make everyone happy.  Jesus simply says, "Love one another, just as I have loved you". John 13:34
The happiness of others does not lie in our hands.  We are to love each other, but to go above and beyond what is necessary time and time again, we will begin to feel the lofty weight upon our shoulders. A weight that was never ours to carry.

I am not saying that we should lead selfish lives. Quite the contrary. I believe God wants us to ask Him how he would want us to love and serve others.   Our greatest joy will come from serving the Lord.  That's where we will find fulfillment.  That's where we will find freedom from the people pleaser mentality... simply because it's Him alone that we are aiming to please.

Dare not compare

Not that we dare to classify or

compare ourselves with

some of those who

are commending themselves. 

But when they measure themselves by

one another and compare themselves

with one another,

they are without understanding.

2 Corinthians 10:12 

The lives of others may inspire me; however, their successes or lack thereof, is not what determines or defines my self-worth or value. Nothing steals my joy and contentment quicker than the pitfall of comparing myself with others.  It leaves me feeling inadequate, insecure and discontent. Jealous. Envious. Bitter. And sometimes it's even the other way around.  Feeling superior. Thinking of myself better than others. Judgmental.  Either way, it's a dangerous and destructive path.  Neither one of which God has chosen for me.

God has paved a road for each one of us to follow that is completely different than anyone else's.  We do not know all of the curves, the ups, the downs, the twists and turns that the other person has had to walk to get them to where they are today. Nor do we know where God will call them to... and what gifts, talents and abilities will be given to them in order to help them along the way.  Knowing that helps me understand how useless it is to compare myself with others.

So what is at the root of comparing?  Possibly the need for approval and acceptance from others?  If that is the case, then it is time to stop comparing and start looking for approval from the only One who is worthy to give it.

Whatever you do,

work at it with all your heart

as working for the Lord, not for men.

Since you know that you

will receive an inheritance

from the Lord as a reward.

It is the Lord you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24

And as we live our lives pleasing Him and Him alone, I believe we will be too preoccupied to compare. It's in him that I find true joy and satisfaction. He's enough.

Listen: Christ is Enough, by Hillsong Live